Think of a heartless person. What qualities do they have? Everyone has a different idea. Some are careless, others feel entitled. Some even view heartless people as jealous, while their own insecurities are at the forefront of every conversation.
While the nuanced descriptions and traits of someone lacking empathy or compassion are somewhat subjective, it is usually clear that someone has no heart when using these expressions in conversations with others.
People without hearts say these phrases in casual conversations
1. ‘What will you do for me?’
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Everything about a heartless person is transactional, because they actually have no emotional investment in anyone other than themselves. They will always put themselves first, even when their friends are really struggling and family members need their help.
Love is conditional, and their time or effort is not given without a phrase like “What will you do for me?” before offering them.
2. ‘You’re always so dramatic’
Ignoring and invalidating the feelings of others is often what entitled, heartless people do to ensure they feel in control. They should not be called out on their misbehavior by anyone else, as that will only make them uncomfortable and irritated. They’re not interested in apologizing to anyone, so they deflect and engage in gaslighting.
However, minimizing one’s aches and pains does not make it go away. It simply puts pressure on someone else to sabotage their well-being, or at least isolate themselves from them.
3. ‘Get Over It’
Narcissism and equality are on the rise and catch up on empathy. More and more people are putting themselves first, without making any effort to understand someone else’s situation or express kindness. There are never any excuses and there is no empathy or support.
People without hearts aren’t interested in investing in relationships by inconveniencing themselves for others, but they certainly expect everyone to bend over backwards when something goes wrong in their lives. “Get over it” is their response to being needed when someone in their social circle or family needs help, especially when they are concerned with their own comfort.
4. ‘You’ll figure it out’
Once they get what they want or need from someone, cold people don’t do any favors or stick around to help anyone else. It’s an “I got mine, and I don’t care if you get yours now” mentality. They do not care about other people, they only deprive them of everything that could benefit their lives.
In today’s world, that often manifests itself in nuanced ways, such as resistance to affordable health care for demographics that don’t have access to it, or resistance to social programs that help people just because they don’t need or can’t benefit from its benefits.
5. ‘I never asked you that’
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Instead of receiving the full benefit of a simple “thank you” or expression of gratitude, heartless people make others feel stupid and small for helping them. Even if they manipulated someone into doing a favor on their behalf, you’ll still hear more “I never asked you to do that” than “thank you for doing that.”
They feel inherent right to people’s time and resourcesso there is no need in their minds to actually acknowledge the sacrifice required to provide support.
6. ‘You sound so stupid’
Most people without the empathy to uplift and empower people do the exact opposite. Driven by insecurity, they belittle people’s contributions and even make them feel small with comments and criticism to make themselves feel better.
Their own superiority never comes from internal satisfaction or fulfillment, but rather from putting down those around them. That’s why they’re exhausting to be around, because they are energy vampires for anyone or anything nearby.
7. ‘I’m Not Sorry’
Instead of apologizing or owning up to their behavior, emotionally cold people continually say, “I’m not sorry.” Unless they are praised for admitting something, they are not interested in admitting they made a mistake for the sake of human decency or to help anyone else.
People without empathy and care for others do inherently more antisocial and aggressive because they don’t regret anything. They never make the apologies that other people need to feel appreciated, and they reap more resentment than anything else in their relationships of all kinds.
8. ‘What do you want me to say?’
Many people who lack empathy or a “heart” are emotionally disconnected and cold. They don’t feel the same kind of remorse when they hurt someone as the average person does. So you’ll often hear them say things like, “What do you want me to say?” because they have difficulty supporting and comforting other people at all.
They may find humor or some kind of annoyance in someone else’s pain, but they rarely care enough to actually stand up for them.
9. “Aren’t you really insecure about that?”
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Instead of standing up for people and even keeping secrets, people without hearts are much more manipulative. Not only do they exploit shame in others to get what they want, but they usually weaponize the vulnerabilities they know about other people to force them to do something for them.
They aren’t afraid to hold someone else’s insecurities over their heads, even in their darkest, most vulnerable moments, especially if it means receiving attention or a sense of superiority.
10. ‘Whatever’
In addition to lacking remorse and compassion for others, heartless people also lack caring. They don’t even care enough about other people to give them their full attention during an entire conversation or anything more than a one-word response when they’re together.
If a person does not have the status and prestige he or she is looking for to improve his or her own social status, he or she is especially unwilling to put in any kind of real effort.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations and policy and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help and human interest stories.
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