Most people like to think that they are independent and can make their own decisions, but they are usually easily influenced.
In fact, we don’t have as much control over our thoughts or actions as we think. We often Receive signals from the environment around us and other people about how to act. But there are certain people who look to others to make decisions and pursue habits or hobbies.
People who are so easily controlled usually do certain things without even thinking about it, and it becomes easy for them to trust that others are in control. But before they know it, everything they do is based on what works best for everyone else, instead of what works best for them.
People who are so easy to control usually do ten things without even thinking about it
1. They apologize for everything
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Even if they have done nothing wrong, these individuals will be quick to issue an apology. This habit makes them more susceptible to spillovers and people taking advantage of them.
Excessive apologizing comes from a place of needing reassurance constantly, and this allows others to see that they will always be the one who has no problem taking the blame for things. It can make it difficult for over-apologizers to recognize when someone is actually treating them unfairly, because their first instinct is always to wonder what they did wrong.
2. They let others set the pace
For people who are very easy to control, it is rare for them to put their foot down and actually express what they want and need. Instead, they wait for others to make decisions or take action to determine what the next step will be. They focus entirely on keeping track of what others expect of them.
But people who let others set the pace become so focused on adapting and changing that they fail to see how much of themselves they are losing in someone else. Their own goals and interests are put on hold and they turn into… the kind of person who bends down for others if they did not receive the same treatment.
3. They avoid conflict at all costs
These individuals would rather remain silent than risk getting involved in an awkward conversation. The moment a disagreement threatens to arise, she look for the quickest way out and to make it disappear altogether. They are constantly sweeping things under the rug, and as easy as that is for them, it does make them easier to manipulate and control.
A person who knows there will be no opposition quickly learns that he can get his way. They make decisions without consulting these individuals and cross boundaries knowing they will not be challenged. Conflict avoidance makes it difficult to repair relationships. It won’t be long before their role becomes more about agreeing rather than standing up for themselves.
4. They change their opinions to fit in
Their views tend to change depending on who they are around. If they feel that their opinion could cause some tension, they will quickly join the majority rather than risk becoming an outlier.
They go with what seems popular at the moment and that makes them an easy person to control. In many cases they feel uncomfortable standing out and those who want to control them use this to their advantage. It means they don’t have to work very hard to convince them to do something they want them to do.
5. They are afraid of not being liked
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The thought of upsetting someone can be worse for him or her than actually being taken advantage of. People who are so easily controlled often spend a lot of time wondering whether or not everyone around them approves of them. If they have an awkward interaction with someone, it will remain in their minds for days or even weeks then.
They constantly analyze their words and behavior for the slightest hint of a mistake they may have made. This makes it impossible for them to tell when someone doesn’t have their best interests at heart because they’re too concerned about fitting in and being liked.
6. They have trouble saying no
Individuals who are easy to control usually end up in that situation because they don’t know how to actually say no to people. They agree to do things even when they don’t want to.
The inability to never say no comes from the same place they need approval and validation. But if they struggle to keep their foot on the ground, people who want to take advantage of them know they will agree to anything and everything.
7. They ignore their first response
Many people tend to trust their gut when something happens, and that makes it easier for them to understand people and make decisions that work for them. But those on the other end of the spectrum who have trouble trusting their initial response tend to constantly doubt themselves.
Their default is to pause and question themselves and their instincts. The problem with that is the fact that they will give other people the benefit of the doubt, but will not extend that same grace to themselves. But when they can’t trust their own judgment, they tend to ignore the red flags of others.
8. They constantly seek approval
People who are easily controlled usually look to other people for validation. Even for the smallest decision, they quickly go to someone they know to help them make that decision.
But the problem with always seeking approval is that they don’t know what will really work for them because they get input from others. These individuals end up suppressing their own feelings also in the process.
9. They feel responsible for the needs of others
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Some people have a habit of treating the needs of others as if it were their own personal responsibility. If someone around them has a certain opinion about something, they immediately feel like it’s up to them to try to solve it.
Even if the situation has nothing to do with them, they will dive into it without thinking. They constantly feel compelled to intervene, but that level of emotional involvement can be quite draining and lead to taking over the emotions of others when they don’t even deserve it in the first place.
10. They allow others to interrupt them
In conversations, these individuals never seem to put their foot down when it comes to people interrupting them. They let the stoppage happen. Over time, people learn that they can easily overpower them during an argument, and that they don’t care at all.
This is mainly because they do not want to appear rude, and because they are afraid that if they correct someone when it happens, they will come across as aggressive. But the key to dealing with overtalkers is through speak instead of remaining unaffected. Avoiding it completely or making excuses will only make it worse.
Nia Tipton is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
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