In many ways the childhood experiences and fundamental memories of Gen Z people shape their outlook on life.
It’s not all their parents’ fault, but there are certainly things Gen Z really didn’t like about the way their parents raised them and many believe these behaviors had an impact on the entire trajectory of their lives.
Gen Z finds these very specific things unappealing about the way their parents raised them:
1. Not having a safe space for emotions
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“You’ll be okay” and “I’ll give you something to be angry about” were just some of the disempowering phrases Gen Z kids heard at home from parents who also didn’t have a safe space to ask for help or express their emotions while growing up with their own parents.
Although Generation Z adults are much less likely to fall for stigmas surrounding mental health, they still face them tension between themselves and their parents today on these issues. They often feel a constant clash between what their therapists and friends tell them is healthy and what their parents do.
2. Overworked and over-planned as a child
As young as they are, Generation Z has already overworked and over-planned much of their lives. They had to have unrealistic expectations when it came to grades and social activities, they had to prepare for college early, and they were expected to organize all kinds of extracurricular activities to do it all.
To please their millennial and Gen This not only gave rise to the anxiety and mental health issues mentioned earlier, but also created long-lasting resentment when the promises they were offered in return for all that work never materialized.
The colleges they attended did not give them an advantage in the labor market. They incurred debts that keep them in financial chains today. And now they’re being told they’re not doing enough by parents who they say essentially started looking for a job after getting a degree. Now they manage all this often today from under the same roof.
3. Not allowed to spend time unsupervised
unstructured, unsupervised play is so essential for children on so many levels. For Gen They were given the freedom to figure things out and fill their time without a parent always looking over their shoulder.
However, many Gen Zers find the kind of overprotective parenting style that those same Gen X parents raised them with unappealing. They are resentful that they were not allowed to spend more time outside or be encouraged by technology, even if they wanted to do so as children.
4. Rarely have any privacy
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As soon as they got cell phones, Gen Z got used to being followed by their parents and having their phones searched. While their millennial and Gen X parents were just protective and dealing with new things safety concerns and fear for their children Growing up in a much more complicated digital world than they did, their snooping taught their children to be secretive and sheltered. Every time they checked in or crossed a line, they were essentially telling their children, “I don’t trust you.”
Of course, safety measures, especially online in today’s world, are essential. However, overprotective parents tend to take things a step too far and instill resentment and anxiety in their children in ways that frustrate everyone.
5. Guilt for helping
So many Gen Xers and millennials were raised by parents who equated hard work with love. When they sacrificed time at home and spent long hours at work, it all reflected in their strong family values, even if they didn’t express it directly in words to their families and children.
Despite missing out on that active, vulnerable love with their parents at home, Gen transactional parenting in their own families.
They said things like, “After all I’ve done for you?” and “I must be a terrible parent” to make their children feel guilty for doing what they wanted, not realizing at the time that they were repeating the same generational cycle in a new way.
6. Being praised for being an easy-going child
While growing up as an easy-going child may provide plenty of external validation and praise, it rarely leads to a child developing deep emotional intelligence. These oldest siblings and good children grow up seeking praise and value by suppressing emotions and never asking for what they need.
They learned early on that that was what praise and love from parents meant associated with neglecting their own needsor at least not parenting near parents. As adults, many Gen Zers have formed new ideas about mental health and emotions, but may still struggle with guilt and shame as they seek support from their experiences as children.
7. Getting lectures instead of support
Despite having the opportunity to make and learn from mistakes as children, many Gen X and Millennial parents have struggled to similarly let go of the wheel with their own children. They stepped in to make sure everything was done right the first time and lectured their children instead of offering them support while they let them figure things out on their own.
Looking back, Generation Z resents the fact that their mistakes were demonized when their parents made so many at the same age. They felt held to a higher standard than was possible, especially for someone their age. Their parents wore their independence like a badge of honor, but neglected to provide their own children with these types of lessons and experiences that actually helped them develop it.
8. Not being creatively supported
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Even with their own focus on independent thinkingIronically, many Gen Instead, many pressured their Gen Z children to take the safe route, whether that meant going to college or finding a hands-on job with a high-paying salary. They may not have believed in climbing the corporate ladder, but they collectively still had traditional ideas about safety.
Many Gen Zers, who now value the most creative jobs and unexpected industries, are outraged that their parents didn’t encourage them to take more risks and have more adventures. They are still dealing with their own guilt about not entering corporate America or following in their parents’ footsteps, and feel like they have to prove themselves successful to parents who don’t accept their life choices.
9. Their view on inclusivity
We all have our own unique beliefs and value systems, but Generation X tends to share a collective sense of inclusivity. Especially with their competitive spirit and persistent work ethic, they are certainly interested in equality, with many seeing themselves as color blind and focused on a bootstrap mentality.
Compared to Gen Zers, who are more interested in stocks and therefore are race conscious and thinking about people’s unique situations. These different belief systems in our polarizing society can cause tension between parents and their adult children, often stemming from lingering childhood frustrations over shouting matches they had as teenagers, leaving them feeling like they had to defend their innate beliefs, leading to riffs that became core memories.
10. Detachment from a sensory community
Although not always intentional, the cynicism and hyper-independence of Gen X may have created certain stressors for their Gen Z children. It may even have contributed to their collective isolation and loneliness.
Gen Z kids learned to rely on themselves and be somewhat competitive for their own well-being. While that may have led to success for some, it also strained relationships and made it harder for Gen Zers to find community.
Now there are even fewer third spaces and even more financial barriers for Gen Zers who value these types of social connections. In addition to loneliness, they also struggle with resentment and frustration about the competitive mentality that their parents have instilled in them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations and policy and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help and human interest stories.
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