TOWIE’s Junaid Ahmed says mum called him ’embarrassing’ after engagement

EXCLUSIVE: The Only Way Is Essex star Junaid Ahmed tells Mirror that after getting engaged to a man his mother approached him for the first time in years and called him out to embarrass him.

towie’s Junaid Ahmed Must be on cloud nine right now. A few weeks ago, the reality television favorite announced her engagement to her boyfriend of two years, Joe Blackwood, after popping the question in a dreamy beach proposal in Albania.

But for Junaid, 31, the joy of impending wedding bells has proved bittersweet – as he knows there could be an empty table at his wedding where his family should be.

First openly gay Muslim artist toviJunaid was just 18 when he was kicked out of his family home in Peterborough with, he says, just £3 in his pocket. His mother and father were devout Muslims of Pakistani heritage, kicked him out and rejected him.

Thirteen years later, he says he lives apart from his family. That is until she recently received a message out of the blue.

“I haven’t told this to anyone,” he says, his voice trembling slightly. “My mom messaged me after my engagement and she called me an embarrassment. I didn’t think I’d get a message like that after so many years, especially at such an important moment in my life.”

“I think the hardest part is World In all these years I have never seen my mother’s name come up on my phone and then that message come up on my phone. It breaks my heart into a million pieces as I sit there and think that it’s been 13 years since you kicked me out, and you still hold on to that level of shame and embarrassment. It is sad.”

Yet, when Junaid talks about his marriage to 27-year-old Jo, there is a ray of hope in his voice. Despite everything, he says he still loves his family and wants them to be there on his big day.

“Call me delusional, but one day I think we can make up,” he says. “I love my mom. I still consider her one of my best friends. We had that kind of relationship. It’s a shame we don’t have that anymore.”

“I’m planning to get married next year. Whether he comes or not, I’ll set the table for him 100 percent. I’m still looking forward to having that relationship with him because at the end of the day he’s my blood.”

Junaid grew up on a council estate in Peterborough with his mother, father, elder brother and three younger siblings – two brothers and a sister – a far cry from the life he has now as a reality star. Growing up, he and his family were active in the local Pakistani Muslim community, with Junaid regularly attending mosque and learning to read the Holy Quran.

But deep down, Junaid always knew he was gay and was afraid of finding out, fearing that his sexuality was incompatible with his family’s religious views.

He says, “I felt like it was literally me against the world. (It was) really quite sad. When I was a kid, I used to write down plans about how I would survive and live my life and who I wanted to be.” “I would hide the pieces of paper, tear them up, put them in the trash (so) no one would find out.”

When Junaid turned 18, his worst fear was realized. As gossip about his sexuality spreads in his local community, he takes it into his own hands to make sure his parents hear the truth straight from him.

“It was probably the saddest day of my life,” he says, “when they threw my clothes out the window in a bin bag and said, ‘You have to go.’” “I was a student. I’ve actually completed my A-levels. I had nothing at all.”

Junaid left Peterborough for Essex and enrolled at the University of the Arts London (UAL), but still a teenager and cut off from his family, he remembers drinking and partying heavily to cope with his loss.

Six months after being forcibly thrown out of the house, they got another shock when they found out Facebook His elder brother, who was his only confidant in the family, died while on vacation in Portugal. He says, “He was one of the first people I turned to. I lost my brother, who accepted me for me.”

While Junaid was able to pay his respects at his brother’s funeral, he immediately returned to solitude in Essex after that painful day. Without the luxury of sharing his grief with his family, Junaid admits, “I don’t think I’ve fully grieved.” “Even today, I don’t think I’ve fully dealt with it.”

Over the years, there have also been fresh memories of the family he lost. “I found out on social media a few months ago that my younger brother got married. I wasn’t invited, and it’s a big pill for me to swallow. It hurts. I get so emotional about it all the time, but I can’t do anything,” he says.

He has finally gotten over it, and as he prepares to settle down with Joe and start a family of his own, Junaid says he is proud to be a gay, Muslim man. He wants to be a beacon of hope for other Muslims who are struggling with their sexuality. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

He describes himself as a “modern-day Muslim”, saying, “I pray every day and I love it.” He further adds, “I pray to God every day. This is my relationship. It is not anyone else’s job to take decisions, give opinions for anything.”

“It says in the Quran that people should be accepted as they are. My personal interpretation is that you should accept people as they are. Everyone is on their own journey with life, with God. Let them do what makes them happy because they themselves will answer to God.”

“Sexuality is not a choice,” he insists. “You don’t choose to be gay. You can’t help me be gay. There’s no medicine to fix it.”

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